The Twins

The Lockwood house had changed through the years. I walked down one of the first hallways Titus created, not knowing then he was being watched. He’d assumed the fire destroyed my soul, the same way it had all the others, but I’d been touched by magic before it changed Marren Vale. Even though I no longer lived my soul was still connected with Anne’s, and there was much more I’d learnt in the years since. Unfortunately the soulbond had become a necessity, although I still had doubts it was originally – we just didn’t have the time to experiment, something I could have done after the fire, had it not been for the bond getting the better of Titus.

With time I’d come to have a more balanced view than I had originally. As I stepped out the fire, watching Titus walk up the vale to where he’d lie to my sisters about what happened, before doing the same with Anne, I was furious. Fortunately, for everyone, I hadn’t yet regaining control of my magic. Had I done… I like to think I’d have made the right choice, but there’s no way of knowing, because I wanted Titus to pay for what he’d done to me. In doing so all I’d have done was harm Anne, and that… Thaddeus warned me Titus wasn’t the only one who’d fall in love with her.

Hence the decision I’d made. From one of the many reception rooms, Titus believed the Lockwoods were meant to have the biggest house in Marren Vale, came voices. Without breaking the vow he’d made to Thaddeus, because Anne had learnt the truth about his feelings for her thanks to Phoebe, Titus married Anne, a mistake before the ritual leading to the birth of the twins. Seth, of the two, was most like Titus, and he’d technically been the one to make the decision they were going to save Anne. Even though it was clear to both of us Sebastian wasn’t certain of this Seth believed the best thing they could do was free their mother from their father. In all honesty I couldn’t say I thought it was the right choice either.

Anne was the Heart. One mistake was all it took. I’d Seen it too many times thanks to Thaddeus, who’d wanted me to be prepared. He believed, and he was right, I’d be the one to step in if anything went wrong. For the hundredth time I went through how I’d explain it to the twins, without telling them too much. They didn’t need to know everything, just enough to keep them from destroying the soulbond, protecting Anne from the worst case scenario. Yes, there was part of me imagining stepped in if they did, to be her saviour, but the reality was I thought Anne’s emotional connection to Titus was too strong for her to be willing to accept someone else taking the soulbond.

“Seth, we should ask Mama…”

“Do you believe she’ll be honest with us, Seb?”

“Maybe not, but…”

“No, she won’t, because it’s Mama. We’re the only reason she’s still with Father. She fell in love with someone else.”

I couldn’t say Anne had the best judgement when it came to her emotions, because the other man she fell in love with wheedled his way into her life on learning she was more powerful than Titus. Elias wanted the soulbond. The day he attempted to steal it Titus stepped in to protect Anne, even putting in the effort to try to hold Elias’s soul together, but power didn’t make someone capable of soul magics like that. From the outside it did look to Anne like Titus shredded Elias’s soul, but Titus’s words, the way he simply accepted her anger, told her far more than she wanted it to in that moment. She understood Titus in a way only she could. When he didn’t tell her the whole truth she knew he was hiding something from her.

Those half truths were part of the reason their relationship was so fractured. When Titus accepted the soulbond he also made a vow to Thaddeus, in the mistaken belief it was the right thing to do. All both of them wanted was to protect Anne. It wasn’t until years later Titus started to question the sense of keeping so much from her. One of the arguments I’d made he wasn’t ready to hear was that Anne wasn’t going to break if she learnt she was the Heart, when she had us there to help her. Eventually he came to at least partially agree with me, but by then there was nothing he could do, the vow was too strong, so she still didn’t know.

Seth and Sebastian had limited time. Anne’s birth gave us around nineteen years until the next ritual. Normally she was about three months pregnant with the twins, by which point they needed to have some kind of plan. I hadn’t heard one yet, and I was beginning to think Seth didn’t actually know how to save Anne. He had this big idea, with no idea of what the next steps were, so I’d taken some time to work through what we might be able to do – if only because I didn’t want the twins to hurt Anne accidentally. Up until I walked through the door I’d been second guessing myself.

“Mama made a choice.” Seth made a sound, like he was about to interrupt. “No, the time has come to listen, not to talk.” I liked Sebastian. “You’re acting like Father. We shouldn’t go against what she wants.”

“She doesn’t want Father.”

“You don’t know that. Neither of us have asked her. Right now what you’re doing is assuming, Seth. I’m not going to lie – she’s not happy. However she’s also more than capable of finding a way to change her life if that’s truly what she wants.”

“Except she’s always put us first. We have to make the choice to put her first, because she won’t ever choose her own happiness.”

Listening to the twins I saw both sides of the argument. I didn’t think either of them were wrong, but I did agree more with Sebastian – in the end Anne had made her choice. She’d chosen her sons, which, yes, meant staying with Titus, although I had a feeling there was more to that. Once she truly had loved him. As much as I hated to admit it, because of my own hopes, I thought she still did, but she wasn’t ready to accept that. When she was, if we’d been working against the future she actually wanted, I didn’t think she’d be particularly forgiving.

That made my task much more complicated. Seth cared, because he loved Anne, and for him it was about helping her live the life he believed she wanted, which was why I said he was most like Titus. Even before he fell in love with her he loved her. If he didn’t he wouldn’t have made the decision he did – taking the soulbond was a heavy weight for anyone, but he also blamed himself for Anne being the Heart. Yet I was more certain than I’d ever been he was going to find the Birthplace of Magic for Anne, because she was born the Heart, so if there was no magic her soul would have faded into nothing.

Breathing deeply, not truly ready for what I was about to do, I stepped into the archway, and the twins looked straight at me. “Who are you?” Seth’s voice, unsurprisingly, was full of suspicion, but when I looked at Sebastian there was more curiosity. “I didn’t think it was possible for the dead to see each other.”

“Normally it isn’t.” I turned my full attention back to Seth. “As a Riordan I have a few tricks up my sleeve.”

He studied me then, more interested than before. Seth didn’t know much about the reasons for the complicated relationship between the two families, because he hadn’t been there for most of it, while I’d been watching over my sisters during that time, partially in the hope they might be able to see me. Unfortunately none of the Riordans had been strong enough for that, but it did mean I’d been able to watch Phoebe throw herself at Titus. When he said no, trying to be far more gentle about it than I could imagine being in that situation, she made certain choices I tried desperately to talk her out of, even though she couldn’t hear me, which led to Anne learning about Titus’s feelings for her… and meant Phoebe had no chance of the future she’d dreamed of.

From the beginning it was Phoebe. Titus never showed any signs he was interested in her as more than a friend. She didn’t even manage to talk him into dancing at Anne’s coming of age gathering, because he was too busy watching Anne socialising, his jealousy almost getting the better of him. Accepting his fate, he’d made his choice years earlier, he didn’t notice Phoebe didn’t have the same strength of will, and she told Anne her suspicions that night – her brother was in love with her. What she didn’t know, what no one knew, was Titus was a foundling. He wasn’t Anne’s brother, although Thaddeus hadn’t been able to see him as anything more, and that was the main reason for the vow.

Phoebe’s plan didn’t go the way she hoped. Anne talked to Titus. The two of them were close, and the fact she knew gave him some freedom. She still didn’t know about the soulbond, or that she was the Heart, but he shared his feelings, certain it couldn’t change anything. Until that conversation, one I really shouldn’t have been watching, I had no clue she’d noticed the signs they weren’t siblings, and I’d disappeared when I realised what it meant. Anne chose Titus. Even before then there was something, but she didn’t act on it… until she learnt she was right, he wasn’t a Lockwood, and they built a very different kind of relationship to the one he thought he’d have with her. Phoebe never forgave Titus, her anger at him only growing when her husband was one of the men chosen for the first ritual.

“A Riordan helping Lockwoods?” Seth shook his head. “Why would you make that choice?”

“For Anne, Seth.” I stepped closer to him. “Before you can ‘help’ her you need to understand what that means. When magic first changed Marren Vale I was a friend of your father’s.” He raised an eyebrow. “The dead have the freedom to make choices too, and mine was not to live another life, so I’d keep my memories. Dying young wasn’t something I expected, although I’d Seen it was a possibility.”

“You aren’t a Seer.”

“Thaddeus was.”

Silence followed those words. “Mama mentioned you.” Sebastian was the one who broke it, getting a look from Seth. “Julian, right?”

I hadn’t expected to be surprised, but I stared at Sebastian. After Titus and Anne married I’d mostly kept my distance. Then she had the twins, causing the first major complication in their relationship. Every so often I checked in, wanting to be there if she ever needed me, certain she didn’t remember me. We weren’t friends before I died. For her to have said anything about me… I closed my eyes. Letting my emotions get the better of me wasn’t going to help. She was still in love with Titus, and the likelihood was she’d choose him over anyone else.

As I opened my eyes, I was there for a reason, I attempted a smile. “Pleasure to meet you both. What did she say?”

“Mama thought our relationship with the Riordans would have been much better if you’d been head of the family.”

“Well, it would definitely have been different.” I leaned against the doorframe. “My sister made some terrible choices, but they did lead to a future where the two of you existed, and Thaddeus never Saw this possibility, so I’m making things up as I go along right now.”

Both looked at me, then at each other, before turning back to me. “Never?” Sebastian seemed to have taken over as the speaker for the two of them. “From how in love Father is with Mama…”

“No seer is infallible, and Thaddeus had his biases. He never imagined Titus making the choice to tell Anne the truth about his feelings, due to a vow Titus made to Thaddeus, but what Thaddeus didn’t Look for was what other people might do in certain situations. Of course he thought I’d be there too, not entirely willing to believe what his son might be capable of.” I raked a hand through my hair. “Honestly, it’s complicated, and the only reason Anne found out Titus was in love with her was my sister, because Phoebe thought Anne would be as disgusted with the thought as she was. What Phoebe didn’t know was that Titus hadn’t been born Anne’s brother, or that Anne had her own suspicions about Titus’s parentage.”

“Father’s always been a Lockwood.”

“In our first life he was born a Blackthorne. Thaddeus gave him the Lockwood name when he carried that baby back to Marren Vale. Mama was pregnant with me at the time, and we became friends early on, because Thaddeus was close to Papa. Titus trusted me, so I was the only person to know the while truth. Even Anne wasn’t meant to know, but she noticed what others didn’t. However she wouldn’t have asked if it hadn’t been for the fact Phoebe told her about Titus’s feelings, leading to a very different future to the one we’re living.”

Seth shook his head. “Give us one good reason why we should believe any of this. You’re a Riordan.”

The look Sebastian gave Seth then was almost enough to make me laugh at the worst possible time. “I am, yes, and I’m not going to pretend I haven’t been in love with Anne for centuries, so I technically can’t be trusted. However I am here because I know what you’re planning, because you could easily do more than kill your mother if you were to make a mistake.”

When Seth opened his mouth to say something, probably argue more, Sebastian raised a hand. “No, Seth, we need to hear this, whether or not it’s the truth.”

“You’ve been friends with Riordans.”

“Not friends exactly, but I’ve heard them out. The scars are real. It’s possible everything else I’ve been told is also true.”

“Oh, it’s true. Titus and Anne are soulbonded, although I don’t believe any Riordan now would understand how it came to exist, because of the history between the two of them. A Titus Lockwood has been married to an Anne every time they’ve lived, so the soulbond could be due to that – but it was created in their first life, after he’d made the vow, due to Thaddeus’s belief it would be best if Titus was always Anne’s brother. He trusted Titus never to say anything to Anne.”

“Created?”

I nodded. “Anne’s magic.” They both raised an eyebrow. “Literally. She’s part of Marren Vale’s magic, which makes her powerful, hence the necessity of the soulbond. Between the two of them they’re capable of balancing it, but, if it was hers alone, there is a chance her soul would shatter. When Thaddeus first learnt of it his focus was on protecting her, and he called her the Heart, which isn’t exactly wrong.”

“Hence more than kill.” Sebastian raked a hand through his hair. “Does that mean we can’t do anything?”

“From what I could tell you were the one who had doubts about the plan from the beginning.” Seth looked at Sebastian, a touch of amusement in his face for the first time. “What do you believe Anne wants?”

Another silence. This one I expected, and I thought they’d both have a different answer for me. Sebastian seemed to understand Anne the best, while Seth wanted to help her, unwilling to believe she’d not made her choices under duress. More recently it did seem that way. She struggled for a time after the first ritual, hating what they’d had to do, but it didn’t change the way she felt about Titus. It might be easy to think it was the soulbond. Anne wouldn’t have fallen in love with Titus otherwise. Only I knew Titus as he was then. Going through the ritual life after life for Anne affected him as much as it did her. He still loved her enough, when she sometimes seemed to hate him for it, to keep going, which was part of the reason Thaddeus believed he was the right person to be by Anne’s side for as long as it was necessary. Seeing them as they were I thought he was actually right. I couldn’t imagine making the same choices.

“Mama wants the truth.” Sebastian’s voice was clear. “I don’t believe the way Seth does she’s no longer in love with Father.”

“She flinches every time he kisses her. He’s the one who stopped her from being with the man she did love, which…” Seth turned to me. “Can someone else take the bond?”

“Yes, but they’d need to have the strength to do it, and that’s why Elias couldn’t.” Seth shook his head. “It wasn’t your father who shredded Elias’s soul.” He opened his mouth. “Elias tried to take the bond from Titus. He didn’t fail, but Titus was there to reclaim it almost before Anne realised something happened. Even she doesn’t think he actually shredded Elias’s soul. What Titus did was let her believe the easy lie, so she wouldn’t ask too many questions he couldn’t answer.”

“That doesn’t mean Mama wasn’t in love with him.”

“Unfortunately not, but I’m more certain now than I ever was Anne is actually in love with Titus.”

“If she loved him she wouldn’t flinch.”

“What she feels and what she thinks she should feel aren’t necessarily the same thing.” Sebastian showing even more signs he’d inherited the Heart’s empathy. “I think Julian’s right. Mama loves Father, but…” He looked down for a moment, before turning back to Seth. “The way she reacts might be more due to how she thinks we see her now. By staying with Father, knowing we most likely watched what happened, she thinks we judge her, which… I hate to say this, Seth, but sometimes you do judge her, and the way you’re so determined to save her from a relationship I don’t think she wants to be saved from is a sign of that.”

Half expecting a furious reaction, Seth instead shook his head sadly. “I want Mama to have a choice. Right now she doesn’t, and what Julian said makes that more clear to me.” He turned to me. “Please tell me there’s a way we can give her a choice, Julian.”

“Ever since your father made the decision to tell Anne the truth he’s been working out how to deal with a problem – her soulmate.” They both stared at me. “When the soulbond was created Thaddeus saw it as a way to protect Anne until her soulmate arrived, believing the natural bond was a safer option, but the reality is lifetimes of there being a soulbond between Anne and Titus changes everything. Even if they were siblings their relationship… honestly, it’s hard to put into words. However it is possible we could transition the soulbond to the soulmate.”

“Something you hate the very thought of.” I had no doubts – Sebastian was the Heart’s son. “Why are you here, Julian?”

Running my tongue over my bottom lip I looked down at the floor, because there was no easy answer. “Like I said, Sebastian, I love Anne. I’m not going to hide that from you. Part of me wishes she’d choose me, but she loves Titus, and I can’t see the soulmate being here changing anything between them. Of course I might be wrong. Maybe there’s something I don’t know. What I am certain of is that I also want Anne to have a choice. For her to learn the truth about everything, although there are worries how she might react to being told she’s the Heart of Marren Vale.”

“Oh, that explains the vow.” Seth looked at Sebastian again. “It was a way of protecting Mama, but it’s caused more harm than good.”

“Fortunately for me Thaddeus came to understand that, because he didn’t ask me to make the same vow. He gave me the freedom to tell Anne whenever the right time was. Only I died instead.” The way Sebastian’s eyes met with mine told me he’d worked out exactly how it happened. “I forgave your father a long time ago, Sebastian. Controlling his emotions was much harder due to the soulbond, and he did what he thought he had to do to protect Anne, which I can’t hate him for, even though I tried.” Shrugging, I stepped back. “You have some time, so use it to think about what you believe is the right choice to make next, before you find me in the Gardens.”

“Mama’s place.”

“When I’m there I feel closer to her.” I looked between the twins again. “Loving someone isn’t easy, especially when they’re not in love with you, but I’ve never regretted the choice I made to be there for your mother. No matter what I will always be there for her.”

As I walked down the hallway I thought of the last person I said those words to – Thaddeus. It never crossed my mind I might end up needing to spend the rest of my existence dead in order to keep that promise to him, but I meant it when I said I didn’t have regrets. Even though she’d never needed me before it was always a possibility, and my decision to stay meant I was there to help the twins when they needed it.