Love Sometimes Helps

Footsteps came from behind me, ones I knew well, but I wasn’t ready for what came next. Even though I knew a conversation with Dante would have an effect I didn’t know how whether it would actually help when it came to our relationship. Victor was upset, because I’d hidden the biggest part of me from him, and that… I hoped he’d never learn I was from Marren Vale, and then our sons changed everything. Maybe it was inevitable, from what I’d learnt about Victor’s potentially bloodlines. Jacob surviving… I ran my tongue over my bottom lip.

A hand touched my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Liza.” Some of the tension left my body at those words. “Dante told me enough I realise I have no understanding of why you kept so much from me, and I… maybe, if you’re willing, we can talk about it. Not necessarily now, but…”

“Now’s better than later, as we’re leaving soon.” I closed my eyes. “Victor, I… you had every right to feel the way you did. My choice… it was selfish. You should have been free to walk away if you didn’t want to have children with magic, and I didn’t give you the chance, because… I fell in love with you. Losing you… I’m sorry too. For all of this.”

“I’d have stayed.” He sounded certain, but there was still so much I had to tell him. “You walked into my life, and brought a light to it, one I never wanted to lose. Even now. Had I known it wouldn’t have changed anything between us, because you were the future I wanted. Going to Marren Vale… we will find a way to make this work.”

“You’re going to be viewed as new magic.” I turned to look at him, our eyes meeting. “They won’t know your bloodlines, and that does matter, although Dante told me enough about them for me to be certain we do need to make the journey. If the twins have the kind of power I think they do…”

“They’ll see you differently?”

Sighing, I nodded. “It’s Marren Vale. Unlike you I’m returning ‘home’, so they’ll be more willing to accept me, and the boys, if they know you’re my husband. When you go to introduce yourself I need to be with you.”

Victor nodded. “You still have family there.”

“Potentially.”

“Love, the more I know the easier it will be when we get there. I need to know who I’m meant to avoid.” His words made me laugh, even as a tear slipped down my cheek. “Come here.” I stood, letting him pull me into his arms, not realising how much I’d needed him until he was there, my head on his chest. “Everything will be fine.”

“A pretty lie that won’t change the future.” I closed my eyes. “We’ll be entering a world you know nothing about, and I don’t think you’re truly prepared for what’s to come. Neither am I, to be honest, because going back… there’s only one silver lining to this, which is the fact I get to see my oldest friend again.”

We were both adults, with children. Having them meet… I’d thought about it more than once as the boys grew up, wondering if the day would come when I’d need to return, hoping it wouldn’t. Marion wanted me safe away from Father, neither of us believing the day would come when he’d… I ran my tongue over my bottom lip. She’d been there for me through so much when we were teenagers, and I was going to do what I could to save her life in return.

“How about we start with her? It seems like the safer conversation.”

“It is, which is why we need to actually start with the more complicated one. Marion… I’m almost excited for you to meet her, although I know we won’t be the same people now, because our lives have been so different. Then there’s Isaac… Marion’s older brother is the man I might have married, had I not left Marren Vale.” Victor tightened his arms around me. “We didn’t love each other. He was a Tyrell. Father wanted to strengthen his relationship with Gregor, which made me useful. Only things didn’t work out the way he wanted them to.”

“Your father’s still alive?”

“Mama is, so it’s entirely possible, which…” I closed my eyes. “He’s one of the people I’d like to avoid running into, although it won’t be easy. Then I have two brothers, both younger, who will have built themselves a life in Marren Vale. Father… Isaac fell in love with another woman. Petra was very different to me, and she was a Lockwood, so Gregor wasn’t going to say no when there was the possibility of even stronger grandchildren. Unfortunately that led to Father losing control of his emotions, almost killing me before Mama stepped in, which was one of the reasons I made the decision to have my magic blocked.”

“Liza…”

“Talking about it isn’t easy, but that’s no excuse. You should have known from the beginning.” I stepped out of his arms, letting the glamour Marion also created for me drop for the first time ever, Victor’s eyes widening. “Fire magic.”

Alive, and scarred. Half my body was covered, something even Marion couldn’t fix, but she gave me back part of myself with the glamour. I checked for any sign of the boys before I pulled up my nightclothes, letting Victor see more than I ever thought I would. Rather than recoiling he stroked his hand over my face.

“Oh, darling, this…” He kissed my cheek. “Did you honestly believe I’d walk away?”

“You have every right to.” I went to replace the glamour, only for Victor to grab my hand. “Victor…”

“Elizabeth, I love you.” His eyes stayed on mine. “Nothing is going to change that. My reaction… you deserved better. This… you don’t have to hide from me now. Our boys will get used to it too. I understand if you feel more comfortable using magic to hide it, but I hope the time will come when you can let me have all of you.”

“No, you deserved better.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Face paling, I touched my own cheek, feeling the fire as though it happened days earlier rather than years. Another tear escaped, and then I was in Victor’s arms once more, sobbing in a way I’d only done once before, when Marion held me in our place. She was someone I truly felt safe with. Now Victor had taken her place, in a way I didn’t think he could, due to my own fear of losing him.

“I’m here, and I promise you I’m not going anywhere.” Magic swirled around us. “You are my wife, the mother of my children, the woman I love… we will be fine.” He kissed the top of my head. “The boys need Marren Vale, otherwise I wouldn’t put you through this pain. Either of you.”

“So do you.” I looked up at him, face still wet, feeling the strength of his power for the first time. “How you’re still in control…” Logically there was one reason, and I put a hand on his chest, closing my eyes, feeling for the block, because it had to still be there. “Well, that’s not entirely a surprise.”

“A block?” I nodded, focusing on it, wondering if I should rebuild it, at least until we reached Marren Vale. “What are you doing?”

“You have a choice to make – I can replace the block, or you need to learn control, sooner rather than later. The lessons are easy enough, as long as you’re willing to accept this is real, because that… I understand why the boys are strong enough we need Marren Vale.”

“Hiding from it isn’t something I’m wiling to do now.”

“Then we start now.” I breathed in deeply, shoving my emotions down, because I wasn’t going to lose Victor. “Come with me.”

When I held my hand out he took it without saying anything, our fingers lacing together as I took him out into the garden, to one of my favourite spots. The scent of herbs surrounded us, all of them ones I’d taken from Marren Vale. Even though I had no magic they were good for teas, something I’d need to make for Victor, but first came the lesson. Gently, I tugged him down, so we were sitting, his eyes on mine.

“Control is something most mages learn when they’re teenagers, when they first come into their power. In one way this isn’t different, because the block disintegrating now means you are coming into your power for the first time, but you’re also much older, which can make the process more complicated. At least that was one of the reasons given for the fear of new magic. Without control… well, I can use Father as an example, and he was a man who technically had great control, until his emotions got the better of him.”

Victor nodded, reaching out with his free hand to touch my cheek. “You have my word…” Magic swirled again, and he smiled. “I will learn control, so you never have to go through that kind of pain again, or I’ll accept the block, because I care too much to ever let any more harm come to you. Especially as the future’s going to be complicated enough.”

Easy words to say, but I accepted them, unable to ignore the way he’d still looked at me when I dropped the glamour. He would try, and that was enough. I ran my tongue over my bottom lip as I went over the lessons Mama taught me. At least I’d inherited her strength rather than Father’s, making it easier for me to work with someone in Victor’s position, because his power… the blocks must have, in some way, had an effect on the twins too. They were in their late teens, an unusual time to show the first signs of magic.

“Acceptance is the first step. For those of us born in Marren Vale it’s simple, because we expect to have magic, and I know you’re starting to, but I need you to go deep within to feel the strength within you. You are related to some very powerful bloodlines.”

Breathing deeply, Victor closed his eyes. From experience the herbs should be helping to keep him calm. His hands rested on his knees, and I watched, able to feel his connection grow, the block fading into nothing. Creating a new one was something I doubted I’d be able to do, but Marion would. My hope was that it wouldn’t be needed. I let myself think, not yet needed, about the choices Dante might have made, certain if he hadn’t spoken to Victor the block was strong enough to last another couple of months before… then we’d probably be part of Titus’s ritual, so it wouldn’t matter any longer.

“Our boys…”

“Have control. Dante did long before he admitted to either of us he had magic, and I’ve been working with the twins ever since we learnt of their power. You need to stay focused on you.”

“I’m glad they had you.” Victor reached out with his hands to take mine, and his magic swirled around both of us. “A block truly hid all of this?”

“For a block to work it needs to be stronger than the magic it’s hiding. I know very little about your paternal family, Victor.” He looked at me then, our eyes meeting, likely thinking of the only time I had met his father. “Now I know what I do…”

“This all goes back to Dante.”

So Victor did know. “I can only assume, because there’s a lot he didn’t tell me about what happened, probably due to him not remembering everything yet. There’s a chance he may never, but I think the man who left Marren Vale made certain choices. Ones similar to mine.”

“You broke the loop?”

“Potentially, yes. Loops are complicated. I technically have the power to do it. The problem is bias. When a Seer believes deeply they can affect what they’re able to See with their own emotions.”

“Neither of us are Seers.”

“As far as I know you aren’t, and, normally, that’s the first to show signs, because a Seer’s a Seer before they truly come into their power. With Dante it’s more complicated. The block was one I think he put on his soul rather than his body.” I bit down on my bottom lip. “What I did was limited to this life. Death would break the block, something Marion insisted on. Soul blocks can be dangerous, and, I believe, potentially inherited by descendants.”

“How many generations?”

“It’s been over a hundred years, so at least five. Dante would have been the first, but… I don’t know what kind of future he might have chosen. The man who left Marren Vale was broken by his experiences. He might even have asked someone to put the block on before he left, in the hope he’d never be drawn back. Another choice he could potentially have made was the removal of his memories.”

Victor stared at me. “Do you honestly believe he would?”

“Unfortunately, yes, I do. Everything Dante told me today points to a man who would have done whatever he had to in order to forget the months he spent in Marren Vale. From the story he shared with me I have a feeling he saw it as the only way he might actually be able to live, because with the memories he’d have been trapped.”

“Leading us to now, and a block that might have been strong enough to be passed on to me.”

“Then our children, but time did cause it to fade. Your father…” I shrugged. “Blocks affect everyone differently. He may have had it worse than you, if he was a Seer, which… the stories you told me make me think it possible, and that… it doesn’t change the pain he caused, but it might explain the reason he made the choice he did.”

“My sisters?”

“We can check in on them before we leave.” I squeezed his hands. “They may not have inherited the family power.”

“Hopefully not, but my brother did.” Victor looked down. “You aren’t the only one to have kept secrets, because I did have a younger brother, and he… long before we met he…” A tear rolled down his cheek, so more words weren’t necessary. “Talking about him isn’t easy. I’m not going to lie, we weren’t close, but he did try to talk to me, only he couldn’t find the words. Even if he had I’m not certain I’d have believed him then.”

I should have ended the conversation, told Victor to focus on control first, as his emotions combined with his magic, the two of them swirling around us. Then he breathed deeply, eyes closing. Most wouldn’t have reacted the same way, so maybe age helped, with both slowly being drawn back within. Yet when he opened his eyes another tear did fall.

“Sorry, Liza. I know I should be focusing, but I feel like I need to talk about this, to understand who I am now.”

“Don’t apologise. This isn’t a situation I can understand, because I was born knowing I had magic. You need to find the right way for you, and if that means talking it through then that’s what we’ll do, if you do think it helps.” I lifted his palm to my mouth, kissing it the same way I had Dante’s. “We will create our own way.”

A smile touched his lips, but faded quickly. “Thank you.”

“You felt it?”

“What was it?”

“Just a little strength.” I looked down at my hand, the scars a part of me once more. “You gave me the courage to be who I am, Victor. Accepting how I’d been… changed…” Closing my eyes, I bit down hard on my lip. “Marion tried. She told me I was still beautiful, but I couldn’t see it. Then you looked at me. Knowing you still love me…”

“Of course I still love you.” He ran his fingers over the back of my hand. “Both of us are learning new things about each other, and that… I will admit there’s more for me to learn about you. At the same time I knew there was a reason I’d only met your mother. I hoped the time would come when you were ready to talk about it. Even though it hasn’t, you’re only doing it because you feel like you have no other choice, I am glad we’re able to have this conversation.”

“Back to control.” He nodded. “You may not need teaching, because, for you, it seems to come naturally, which isn’t unheard of. Then again it might just be due to our age. Coming into our power when we’re going through other changes isn’t necessarily the best thing.”

“Could that be why…”

“That’s a very complicated question to answer, when I never met your brother, but being out in a world that doesn’t understand magic can’t have been easy for him. Marren Vale isn’t somewhere many talk about, which… you were lucky to have met someone who was willing, and then there was the letter.”

“If Dante didn’t stay there’s no reason I should have received a letter.” Victor sighed. “Maybe he was right to be suspicious.”

“What we don’t know is what happened after Dante. There may have been another family member who made the journey to Marren Vale after he left. It’s likely we’ll never know why you received that letter, but you’d have made the journey even if it hadn’t came, so…” I shrugged. “We do what needs to be done for the twins, because they do need another teacher.”

“Please teach us everything we need to know.” Victor squeezed my hands then. “I want to walk into Marren Vale feeling as prepared as I can be for what’s to come, especially if I am going to meet Marion.” He shook his head. “She’s from a powerful family.”

“She also married into another powerful family, so her children are going to be even more powerful.” I looked down for a moment. “Marion’s the reason Isaac met Petra, because she got to know Thaddeus Lockwood first, seeing him as her way to leave Marren Vale, only for him to become one of Gregor’s favourites.” As I looked up, my eyes met with Victor’s. “When I walked into the house after Father’s attack I avoided Gregor. Even though I wasn’t a Tyrell I’d also become a favourite.”

Confusion filled Victor’s eyes. “I don’t understand.”

“Marion understood the decision Mama and I made to leave Marren Vale. Gregor would have done whatever he could to make me stay. Losing my bloodline…” I bit down on my bottom lip. “For you to truly understand any of this we need to start talking about the Greater and Lesser families, which will probably be easier to do if we’re all together. The boys also need to learn about my family too.”