Fixing Relationships

”Mama, I…”

“Focus on your relationship first.” Mama squeezed my hands. “Whatever happens I will be fine, Dante.” She gave me a smile, one that didn’t reach her eyes, so I wasn’t certain I believed her. “One way or another.”

I nodded, making the decision to accept the lie, for her. She needed me to, because then I’d go to find Father. Learning so much about her past… I studied her. The decision she’d made was for all the right reasons, even though it hadn’t worked out the way she hoped. Father had magic. He, I thought, would be related to the family of the man I was, who’d fallen in love with Anne lifetimes earlier. Mama, on the other hand, actually knew Marren Vale, better than I had or did, because it was home… something it had never been for me.

Closing my eyes I saw Anne as she was once again. How we’d made the decision together to leave Marren Vale when she’d slipped out the house after another argument with Titus. Losing her… I bit down hard on my bottom lip. There was no going back, but we did at least potentially have a future together, unless she made the decision she couldn’t leave him again after what happened before. All I could do was hope we’d be able to talk before the ritual, if Mama’s decision did change things.

“What are you going to do?”

“Spend some time finishing my tea, so you have a chance to talk to your father. Then I’ll make the decision what comes next.”

With one last squeezed she freed my hands, and I took a step back. As much as I did want to stay with her talking to Father was the logical thing to do. Maybe she was right. I could fix our relationship before we left for Marren Vale. Only part of me didn’t want to. Memories of my father before, the choices I’d Seen him make, complicated everything, but Victor wasn’t Matthew. The same situation wasn’t going to happen again, especially if I was able to help Father, and the darkness, now Mama knew, was less likely to change him into the man he became.

As Mama turned her attention to her cup I walked away, already certain I knew where Father would be. He stood in the same place ever morning, watching her, because whatever issues they might have I didn’t doubt for a moment he still loved her. When I reached him he glanced back at me for a moment.

“How is she?”

“You could ask Mama.”

“Everything’s different, Dante.”

“No, it’s not, because you still love her. What she kept from you… I understand her decision in a way you can’t. It was never due to you, Father. Mama never wanted to think about Marren Vale, and I… being able to See isn’t easy.”

Father raked a hand through his hair. “Explain it to me.”

“Since the first time I dreamt of Marren Vale I’ve seen a horrible future for all of us, and I thought I could avoid it by never bringing up the fact I had magic. Hiding it from you… if I’d known Mama came from Marren Vale I might have made a different choice, but I honestly don’t think I would have, because I was so lost. I’ve seen you die.”

“Your mother?”

“Mama nearly did die, thanks to her own Father.” Father turned to look at me then. “She didn’t tell you.”

Cheeks pink, he closed his eyes for a moment. “I didn’t give her a chance to.”

“Now’s your chance to change things, Father. Mama will forgive you. That I’m certain of. She blames herself for not telling you, but that… neither of us truly want to go to Marren Vale. I’m not willing to lie to you, because this… we’re walking into what I’m certain is a trap. Only I think now it’s the only option I have. You’ll go no matter what.”

“Dante, I have to. For the twins. They need someone who can teach them what it means to have magic, and I can’t. Your mother… I think she could, but she said herself to me she doesn’t know what bloodlines they might have come from.” Sighing, he raked a hand through his hair. “I was so angry with her for saying I’d come from a magical family, because that… I don’t have magic. Not like her.”

“She does now, after removing the block.” I stepped closer to Father. “Mama chose not to have magic, because she was terrified of returning to Marren Vale.” He studied me. “Now she has to, and I need you to support her, because this… her father might still be alive. Grandma is.”

“What else do I need to know?”

“Ask Mama.”

“Tell me what you Saw.”

“For now it might be best if I don’t.” He raised an eyebrow. “Seeing is complicated, Father. I already feel like I told Mama too much, because now she’s trying to work out ways to change the future, and that… I don’t know if I made it worse. Telling you… I want to. Honestly. Only I can’t help worry.”

“I think your mother will tell me.” Father looked over his shoulder at her. “At least she will if I ask her.”

“Probably, yes, because it’s a way of keeping you safe, Father, and she loves you.”

“Yet you think it’s best for me not to know?”

“Right now all I’m doing is making it up as I go along.” I leaned against the wall. “Being a Seer… I wish I had the answers, but technically all I have are Possibilities. Mama said it was unlikely I’d Seen a Certainty, even though it felt like I had. Apparently I was trapped in a loop.”

Father nodded. “So you have her family’s magic?”

“No, I have both families’s.” He blinked. “I’ve probably already told you too much, but I lived before, Father. Then I made the journey to Marren Vale myself.”

“Why?”

Bringing up Anne right then didn’t seem like the right decision. “I dreamt it, as though it was where I was meant to be. Unfortunately Marren Vale was, and is, a very complicated place. Mama’s going to teach me more, because I didn’t spend very long there before I left. Going back… I hate the very thought of it. However, for the twins, I will.”

“Do you know much about…”

“Enough.” I gestured for Father to sit, so he did, and I set about making us both tea while I started going over what I’d been able to learn. “Almost a century before I arrived a mage named Gabriel Diaz left.” Saying his name still sent a frisson of jealousy down my spine that I did my best ignored. “He was helped through the wards by Anne Lockwood, with his son Mateo, and they found somewhere they could call home.”

“That was unusual?”

“Before I left it was. Now things are different, but that’s a very long story.”

“I have time.”

“Mama…”

Father smiled. “Dante, we live in the same house. I think for me to be able to speak with your mother I need to know more. What I’ve said and done… I want to be able to have this conversation with her on even ground. For me to do that I believe I should hear what you have to share with me.”

Slowly, stirring the tea, I nodded. “Then we need to go back, to when magic first transformed Marren Vale, and the wards were created, because they existed for three reasons – to protect those outside the Vale from the flood of magic, to keep anyone who lived there from being able to leave, and to draw the souls of those who had magic from all around Taliesin.” I set a cup in front of Father before sitting opposite him with my own. “No one quite knew how they came to exist, although there were theories. Most revolved a man named Titus Lockwood.”

“A relation of Anne Lockwood?”

“Yes, technically, although it was more complicated. Titus and Anne Lockwood were two survivors of the flood, with Titus becoming the leader of the Council. I know more about the Lockwoods than I do any of the other families, because I met Anne. Anne as she’d become, that is. From that time they reincarnated, life after life, with Titus reclaiming his position. Doing that meant using dark magics, something Anne disliked, but there was a magical vow, so…” Shrugging, I raked a hand through my hair. “Hence her decision to help Gabriel.”

“Gabriel would have been a victim of those dark magics.”

“Exactly, and Mateo was a Seer, which protected them from Titus, who was also a Seer, because a Seer can’t See another Seer.” Unless they were linked in some way, which I clearly was to Titus, thanks to the two different bonds connecting us with Anne, but I wasn’t going to bring that up. “From what I was able to See then Mateo lived, having children, one of who became my grandfather, Thomas. Thomas had a son, Matthew, my father, who Thomas protected by creating a block on his magic, which led to issues when that block started to fade. Matthew wasn’t willing to believe magic was real, so you’re at least making better choices than he is.”

“No matter how you feel about going back to Marren Vale.” Father put his hand on mine. “Thank you. I know things have been complicated between us, and I appreciate the fact you’re willing to open up to me, when I can’t imagine it was easy.”

“It wasn’t, but Mama thought it was important, and… even though I did too I probably wouldn’t have without her urging me to, because of how badly our last conversations have worked out. Father, I want us to find a way to work together. Hating the thought of returning to Marren Vale doesn’t mean I’m angry with you. Maybe the situation, but I think, maybe, it was inevitable.”

“To draw you back.”

“Possibly, which I know sounds big headed, but…”

“Honestly, Dante, no, it doesn’t, from what you’ve said. I can tell there are things you haven’t shared with me, but what you have… it makes sense.”

“Unfortunately, it does, and I just… I have so many mixed feelings about all of this. I don’t want to return to Marren Vale, because I left for a reason, while also desperately wanting to go back, to see Anne again. She’s…” I ran my tongue over my bottom lip. “Anne’s my soulmate.” Of course it was far more complicated than that, adding Titus and the soulbond into the equation, but that still mattered to me. “Being with her… it’s hard to put into words, Papa.”

Since our biggest argument I’d been calling him Father. In that moment, as I admitted to something I hadn’t shared with Mama, it felt right to return to Papa, our relationship more whole than it had been. He smiled.

“Emotions often are, especially in situations like this.” He squeezed my hand. “You’re worried she won’t feel the same way.”

With a sigh, remembering the way it was, I saw her when I kissed her the last time. “I don’t think she actually did then, but I desperately wanted her to. She… I love her. Even now I’m deeply in love, even though we haven’t met in this life. Anne’s not in love with me.”

Father studied me. “A soulmate not in love?”

“Anne’s soulbonded to Titus.” I ran my tongue over my bottom lip. “When I was in Marren Vale before I spent time with Celeste Riordan, a soul mage who knew much more than I did about the soulbond, and she explained it was hard for Anne to even feel the connection we had. Sometimes our emotions would bounce off each other, but it wasn’t enough.”

“Yet she made the decision to leave with you.”

“I think Anne wanted to try. She cared enough to give us a chance, but Titus wouldn’t let her leave. He took her life, and now… when I dreamt of Marren Vale she choose to keep her distance. Maybe it was for the right reasons. Unfortunately I have a horrible feeling she’d make the choice to keep me safe, because it’s clear he came between us.”

Bitterness in my voice I couldn’t ignore, upset with myself for not being able to save Anne’s life, having Seen her death multiple times before. “You knew.” Papa’s eyes met with mine. “Her death was always a Possibility.”

Unable to find the right words, I sipped my tea, memories of some of the conversations we’d had returning to me. I remembered Anne’s death, and the time I spent with Celeste, better than I did almost everything else. Celeste… I closed my eyes. There were choices I could have made, but I was blinkered, Anne the only future I imagined, yet here I was, without her, still in love. Returning to Marren Vale… it could be different.

“Something I chose not to tell her. I believed too deeply in our future. Anne… she’d have known. Her magic meant she always did. Titus spent most of their time together hiding things from her, and I tried not to, but I wanted her to give us a chance. Before we left there was a moment… I thought we’d connected strongly enough for me to be able to stop Titus, only to learn how wrong I was. One moment we were walking together. When she stopped I tried to give her the strength she needed to fight, to find it was already too late, she was gone, thoughts of what came next swirling.”

“This is what’s come next.”

“Now, yes. At the time…” I closed my eyes, Celeste in front of me once more, the conversation we had after Anne’s death more infuriating than I expected. “Emory asked me to stay, to help rebuild the Council, but I couldn’t, because being there… it was nothing more than a reminder of my failure. Leaving was the only option.”

“Hence you not wanting to return.”

“I have other reasons too.” Sighing, I raked a hand through my hair. “Mama might share them with you, if she thinks it’s the right thing to do, but, for now, I don’t believe it is. The past can’t change the future. You knowing what’s to come can, and I failed before, so the best judge is Mama. What I did, after leaving Marren Vale, was never use magic again, having a block created to make certain I couldn’t See. Having that back… now I remember I half wish for the block again, but Mama did help me to reconnect. Maybe it is for the best.”

“Did Mama know?”

“No, because I didn’t know. The block existed in a past life, and hasn’t affected this one, except for potentially be the reason I was trapped in a loop. Being able to truly See… it’s hard to put into words. When I sleep tonight I may be able to dream of another possible future, which… I don’t know what Anne would want. She’s not who she was before. Neither of us are.”

When I thought of the man I saw in the mirror I couldn’t help comparing who I’d been before. He was attractive. Now… I looked down at my hands. Far paler than before, I took after Mama more than I did Papa, I doubted she’d find me attractive the way she had before. He looked like Gabriel, while I… Papa had the same colouring. My brothers did too, so that might explain Anne’s decision to help one of my brothers, although that… I bit down hard on my bottom lip.

“Give it time.” I looked at Papa. “You’re letting what might be get the better of you before it’s even happened. There’s no way you can know for certain what will happen when you meet Anne again. Whatever loop you got trapped in clearly had an effect, so try to let it go. Obviously it won’t be easy, but I think it is necessary if you’re going to be able to make the most of being in Marren Vale. As you still love her I think that’s the best thing you can do.”

“You’re probably right. I just need some time to work through all of this. Seeing Anne again…” Closing my eyes, I saw her as she was, the last time I kissed her, the disconnection something I could never forget. “Go talk to Mama.”

“Are you certain?”

“Papa, she needs you more than I do right now.”

From the way he didn’t move straight away I wasn’t certain he believed me. “You know where I am if you need to talk.”

I nodded, grateful when he did leave. Celeste’s eyes were on mine. “Titus didn’t kill Anne.”

“He did, Cel, and if you won’t accept that…”

“Dante, I spoke to him after the two of you left.” I stared at her, not quite able to believe what she was saying, because that… she was a Riordan. “He came to tell me about Mama, and he was kind to me, so, yes, we talked, because it was the right thing to do. Titus would never have harmed Anne in such a way.”

“Well, Anne’s gone.”

“So’s Titus, and the rest of the Council.” Celeste reached out to touch my arm, but I pulled away, shaking my head. “I think something went wrong. Titus was… he did love her.”

“More than he should.”

“Possibly, yes, but Anne loved him too, and leaving wasn’t an easy decision for her. I need you to listen to me, because I know more than you do about the soulbond. Titus…”

“Celeste, I held Anne’s dead body in my arms, because of him.” Her eyes were on mine. “Even if something did go wrong it doesn’t change anything now. She’s gone. The future we could have had no longer exists. Titus never wanted to let her go.”

“For good reason, but this time… Dante, I need you to hear this – he was willing to let her go with you, even though it broke his heart. He believed it was what she truly wanted. I held him when he cried, and that’s something I didn’t actually believe was possible until it happened. Something went wrong the night of the ritual, probably because he was doing complicated magics while he was still emotionally compromised, which he should have known not to do. Unfortunately it was too late to stop it.”

I’d assumed Celeste would feel the same way I did, so hearing her speak on Titus’s behalf… the same fury swept through me, but I closed my eyes, letting it fade, as we went through the ritual once more. Titus was opposite me, the darkness surrounding us, his eyes meeting with mine for a moment. Even though I hadn’t wanted to accept it he gave me a nod. He asked for my help, and, emotions in control, I don’t think I’d given it. Rather than Titus being the reason I’d become a demon it was my own bad choices.