Unexpected Magic

Titus was normally predictable. Learning he’d told the twins something he hadn’t been able to share with me… something had changed. Exactly what was likely another of the many things I couldn’t know. I studied my husband, his emotional control not quite where it normally was, but then that was understandable. His relationship with our sons had been distant, due to choices he made, so them actually being able to build something new was an unexpected happiness for both of us.

What I wanted in that moment was a voice, and the ability to walk away from our fathers. Instead I was stuck in Papa’s arms, while he spoke to us, his words giving me hope he’d be one of the best parents I’d had so far. Fortunately I’d always had Titus. As the Lockwood heir my fathers wanted me to be coveted by him, his love for me never fading, even though I thought I’d destroyed it. Both my sons knew I’d connected with someone else, Seth not understanding my decision to stay with his father after what happened to Elias’s soul.

Only even then I knew there was something more to it. Titus let me believe he was the villain, because it was what I needed at the time. Some days it still was, when my anger got the better of me, and Seth saw that too, without the understanding Sebastian had. Sebastian was too much like me. I saw the worry then too, even though Titus tried to hide it. Eyes on him, not willing to look away, I did what I could to help him, my own empathy strong no matter how old I was.

His softened. I squeezed his finger, one of the few things I was capable of doing to react to his expressions. ‘I love you.’ Mouthing the words, it was unlikely either of our fathers would notice because they were so focused on their conversation, Titus moved his hand so it was touching mine. Our bodies didn’t matter. Being young again was always complicated, but our souls had lived through so many lifetimes together we knew each other as we were meant to be.

More than anything I wanted to say it back. To set his mind at ease, because I did love him, no matter what. Only I couldn’t, even mouthing it was beyond me, the muscles in my face just enough for me to smile at him. Fortunately, my eyes told him far more than I could. He smiled back. ‘Everything will work out the way it’s meant to, and you won’t be a baby forever. Soon you’ll be able to tell me off.’

Laughing, one of the other things I could do, I drew the attention of our fathers once more. Emory smiled at me, stroking a hand over my head. “When Anne’s a little older I think it would be nice for the two of them to have some playdates.”

Sharing a look, it wasn’t the first time, Titus stroked my palm, something they definitely couldn’t see. Elias happened because my father then was less interested in their being an alliance with the Lockwoods. I accepted the nice lies, knowing he didn’t love me the way Titus did, because he didn’t know who I truly was. He proposed leaving Marren Vale… and that was the night Titus stepped in. Although I didn’t understand exactly what I knew there was something more to what happened. The man I loved wasn’t capable of shredding someone’s soul.

He was capable of some very dark choices. I accepted that, because he hadn’t told me the truth about how Julian died. Titus hadn’t told anyone. Phoebe had suspicions, she threw them at me when she told me ‘my brother’ was in love with me, even though I’d known then he wasn’t actually blood related. Until then I’d accepted the lie for him. Learning his feelings for me were real, they weren’t just my imagination, I made the decision for him… not that it was easy. For weeks he argued against a relationship, and then I kissed him.

A kiss that changed everything, for both of us. Only then I didn’t know what was to come. How the vow he made the worst night of our lives would affect our future, but he held me as I sobbed over Espen’s body, not angry with me for caring about a man he knew had proposed to me after learning about my relationship with him. Like so many in Marren Vale Espen didn’t understand why I’d choose my own brother, not understanding the connection I had with Titus. Or that he wasn’t my brother, because, to everyone else, that was what we were. It wasn’t easy to forgive, but I did.

Of course it wasn’t long after that I learnt about the pregnancy. Titus realised Seth was a Seer during my pregnancy. Having the twins almost killed me, which was part of the reason for the block, so it would be safe in our next life. I didn’t know if he worried less, it was a conversation we’d be able to have in the future, but we also didn’t want Seth’s life to be affected by what he Knew, the way Titus’s had been, although Titus’s was also changed by what Thaddeus Knew. Even though Titus never told me it was Thaddeus I knew my husband – our first father was the only reason he’d have kept so much from me.

“The first can be here.” Papa smiled, glancing at Gloria. “I think you’ll need it.”

Blinking, Titus looked at Papa, and Emory did the same. I closed my eyes. Hiding it from Titus wasn’t a possibility, but I thought I’d have more time. Now he’d know, something I didn’t doubt would complicate our relationship more, because I could see the scars.

“Gloria’s pregnant?”

Papa nodded. “Congratulations, Emory.”

“You have soul magic?”

“I do.” Papa kissed my forehead. “Anne potentially does too.”

Calming Titus wouldn’t be easy. I opened my eyes, seeing the terror within his, because he didn’t believe I’d still choose him if I was able to see them. Far less gently than before I squeezed his finger, although it wasn’t as though I had the ability to do it particularly hard. He shook his head. We’d tried before to mentally communicate, but it hadn’t ever worked. This time I needed it to.

‘Love, stop.’ He stared at me. ‘It doesn’t change anything.’

‘Anne?’

‘Who else would be trying this?’ I squeezed his finger again. ‘I’m assuming you can hear me finally.’

‘Of course it would be this life.’ I was even able to hear the resignation in his mental voice. ‘What can you see?’

‘Nothing I didn’t already suspect.’

‘Please answer the question.’

‘Before that I need your word you’re not going to panic more than you already are.’ I wrapped calm around him, eyes not leaving his. ‘Our relationship will survive this, the same way it’s survived everything else, although…’

‘Removing the block isn’t going to harm you in any way. I wouldn’t have done it if I thought you’d be in any danger. This…’ He studied me. ‘Be honest with me, sweetheart, because that’s what I need more than anything else in this moment. You having soul magic… I didn’t think it was possible.’

‘Until it happened neither did I, but, like I said, it doesn’t change anything between us, darling.’

‘Everything changes between us.’

‘Titus Lockwood…’

‘I need to know what you can see.’

‘Do you want me to count them?’ I heard the exasperation in my own voice. ‘We have scars. Both of us used the ritual to keep our memories.’

Gently, he stroked his finger over my palm. ‘Sweetheart, I know enough, and I need you to tell me what you see.’ He’d become the calm one, something I believed was only for me. ‘Please.’

Silence followed those words from the two of us, although I could still, in the background because it was entirely unimportant, hear our parents talking. Gloria was understandably excited to be pregnant, and when I looked at her I saw the second soul growing within her. I thought it would be a girl, a baby sister for Titus. He never cared, but it would be nice for me, because I’d have a sister-in-law.

‘What I see I already suspected.’ I spoke slowly, trying to find the right words. ‘They are in layers, sort of, but it’s hard to describe to someone who can’t see it for themselves. Each life… Titus, it doesn’t matter.’ He shook his head, barely perceptible to someone who didn’t know him the way I did. ‘You don’t get to make that decision for me. Before I told you I loved you the first time I knew what you were capable of. Darling, I love you now. Accept that.’

After Elias it was easier said than done. Had we been alone, speaking aloud, Titus would have raked a hand through his hair, before beginning to pace. It was an interesting sight when he was three. Surrounded by people it was far more complicated. Papa still held me, his words entirely uninteresting to me, their conversation entirely about the baby. Mama most likely would be pregnant soon too, the first beginnings of a soul growing within her, because I could see more than Papa, unsurprisingly.

Now I had soul magic I found myself wondering what Julian could have seen. It wasn’t the first time I wished I’d been able to ask the question, as I looked at the bonds I had. The strongest of them all linked me to Titus, which I expected, but the age of it… that was something else entirely. Another strong bond also linked me to Titus, also older than I expected. More linked me to my parents, and the family I had around me. He had the same, but then I had another, one I didn’t understand, yet I also did. From the beginning there were things he hadn’t told me. Seeing that bond I believed it was connected to them.

Patiently waiting for a response, giving Titus time, I looked more closely at him than I had before. His soul was more damaged than I wanted it to be, something he’d done for me, out of love, and that… I hated the necessity. Yet the more I looked at my own soul the clearer the differences between us became. More than once he’d brought up my ‘light’, something I was finally able to see for myself, as well as the strength I had within me. Strength I could share with Titus via one of the bonds, because it existed to balance it between us. Only one person would have had that created. Not knowing why was a complication, but I wouldn’t ask.

He had more scars, but Elias wasn’t one of them. I hadn’t expected him to be. Then there were two more from our first life, connecting to two disappearances – the first Julian, and the second Phoebe. At least I could only assume it had something to do with them, another of the many things the two of us hadn’t talked about. Looking at the bond, the created one, I didn’t think it was something we’d be likely to, ever. A vow enshrouded it, one Titus must have made to Thaddeus, explaining the reason he’d never said anything. It was more powerful than ours, likely to shred his soul if he dared break it… although ours might do the same, which… he’d promised he’d never leave me.

‘Anne, I love you.’ He sounded sadder than I expected. ‘I know I fought against us being together, but that wasn’t because I didn’t feel exactly the same way about you. Being here, now… both our sons believe we have a chance of a future, and I want to believe them. This… you said you can’t see anything more than you suspected.’

‘You didn’t harm Elias, even though you let me believe you did, because I needed you to be the villain. I wasn’t ready to accept I’d chosen to let someone like him into my life. Had you not been there…’

‘Everyone makes mistakes, sweetheart.’

‘True, but yours aren’t going to kill you, are they?’ His eyes widened. “I understand why you never wanted me to be a Riordan. Being as powerful as I am… what could Julian see?’

‘I didn’t think you remembered Julian.’

‘Of course I remember Julian. Most of the time I choose not to push for a reason, darling, and with Julian I could see the pain it caused you, even though you weren’t willing to accept it. I knew you lied, the same way you lied about Phoebe.’

Skin paling, fortunately our parents weren’t paying attention to us the same way they were, Titus breathed in deeply. ‘He saw bonds.’

‘Can you tell me what the other one is?’ He ran his tongue over his bottom lip. ‘Yes or no? Nothing more if you can’t, because… Titus, I see the vow.’ Whiter than before, something I didn’t believe was possible until then, he shook his head. ‘Fine, then I’ll learn, eventually.’ A tear rolled down his cheek. ‘They aren’t you. I choose you. Everything you’ve done… do you think I don’t know you? Didn’t know you? We’ve had issues, and a lot of them through the lifetimes, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to walk away.’

‘Except you almost did with Elias. You fell in love with him.’

Mentally, something I didn’t think we possible, I laughed, and Titus stared at me, going to move his hand, so I held on tighter. ‘He didn’t know me. I don’t think I actually knew him. What I fell in love with was that. Even then I realised it wasn’t real… I have been furious with you multiple times throughout our existence, darling, but I have never not loved you. On your side it might have seemed that way, there have been moments, yet our relationship… you gave up so much for me. Not only can I see the vow you made to me I see the vow you made when the soulbond was created. Just having that soulbond is enough. All I can say now is I am so sorry for what you’ve been through to be my… everything.’

By the end of what I said I was barely holding it together, but I had to. The last thing I wanted to do right then was draw the attention of our parents. Especially when it seemed like all Titus could do in that moment was stare at me, his own emotions so mixed I couldn’t tell what he felt. Slowly, love taking over everything, he did regain control, another tear escaping. He didn’t bring attention to it.

‘Don’t apologise. This was my choice. You were my choice. Being beside you throughout the lifetimes is honestly all I ever wanted.’ Even in my mind I could feel the truth in those words. ‘It’s all I will ever want, but you… a decision is coming.’

‘It’s been made.’

‘Anne…’

‘No, Titus, you are my choice. I love you. Whatever needs to be done I will do it with you by my side. Not whoever it is you think might be better for me.’ Sighing, I closed my eyes, tiredness sweeping through me, because my body was still very young. ‘There’s a third bond, which is the one I think’s the important one.’

Papa looked down at me. “I think this one is getting a little sleepy now.”

He wasn’t wrong, but that didn’t mean I was ready to sleep after what I’d just told Titus. ‘Sleep if you need to, sweetheart, because this conversation doesn’t need to be finished now.’ Calmer than I expected, he moved to kiss my cheek. ‘We have time.’

Everyone in the room made a sound, because he’d been cute once more, doing his best to be baby Titus. Then I was moving away from him. Barely able to open my eyes, I reached out with him with a hand, and I felt him beside me, something I had a feeling Emory made happen.

“Just until she is asleep.” Papa’s voice was gentle. “It’s sweet she wants you to stay with her, Titus.”

‘Sweetheart, I love you. Enough to let you go if that’s what you want.’ I made a sound. ‘Yes, I know what you think, but I want you to have the freedom to make it.’

What I couldn’t tell him was that it had never actually been a choice. The third bond had always existed. He’d always been my other half, even though I hadn’t realised it. I tried to force my eyes open, not having any luck, and my mind wouldn’t speak to him either, no matter how much I pushed.

‘Go to sleep, Anne. Stop fighting it. I’m not going anywhere now. You are the future I want. Don’t you dare think otherwise. That doesn’t mean I’m going to force it upon you.’

Yet I’d almost forced what I wanted on him. As my mind started to float away on waves of sleep I was my first self again, standing in front of Titus as he was, my eyes on his. He stared back at me. We’d argued, the way we had so many times before, about what we both wanted in the future, but I knew him better than I wanted. I heard every lie he told me. Every time he told me he didn’t want to be with me I felt it deep within my soul, because he wanted me, the same way I wanted him, but there was something stopping him.

Well, there was nothing stopping me. I stood on my toes, pressing my lips to his, the promise I’d made to myself broken because of a moment of hope. All it took was me making him see how much he did want me. He didn’t need to keep fighting it. Moments later I was pressed against him, his arms wrapped so tightly around me I could barely breathe. Kiss deepening, I wasn’t wrong, I curled my arms around his neck, fingers tangling into his hair. Even now I don’t know which of us it was who started removing items of clothing.

Naked beneath him, the only man I could ever have imagined being with in that way, I stayed silent as I stroked my fingers down his spine. Words would break whatever spell I’d managed to put on him. Only then he buried his face into my neck, breathing deeply.

“I love you.” His most powerful truth, against my skin. “Anne, tell me this is what you want.”

“Titus, I want you. I love you. Nothing else matters.”

He laughed, he didn’t agree, but in that moment he accepted the words I said, and the spell wasn’t broken. It was strengthened when I felt him inside me, no longer able to speak. Sounds escaped me as he moved, making it possible for him to look into my eyes, his the brightest blue I’d ever seen. Honestly, that was probably the moment we conceived the twins, neither of us thinking about what came next, because all we cared about was each other.