The Soulmate Arrives

Thaddeus couldn’t See exactly when Anne’s soulmate would enter Marren Vale, but he believed it was a Certainty. Of course that didn’t stop him from preparing for the possibility it wasn’t, so we’d both been told, before his death, to go looking if it took too long. Fortunately that wouldn’t be necessary, although it was closer than I was comfortable with. Another couple of lives, and it wouldn’t be safe to put her through another ritual. Now, though… I stared through the window.

As expected the soulbond was nothing in comparison to the soulmate bond. He felt it, there was no doubting that. If he didn’t he wouldn’t be in Marren Vale. There was the kind of power Anne needed, so he could technically be her balance, but if there was no connection between them… I raked a hand through my hair. Titus spent hours in Anne’s room after Leonora left, and there was no way for me to know what they talked about. Even though Titus could walk through easily, potentially due to the soulbond, I couldn’t, still not quite powerful enough.

Of course there was no easy solution. I said it at the time. Thaddeus believed the soulbond was the only option, and he might have been right. Neither Papa or Thaddeus had time to experiment, their souls disintegrating faster than any of us anticipated when Papa first brought up what he’d seen, so they did what they had to in order to protect Anne, making Titus even more protective than he already was. All I had to do was say the slightly wrong words… I bit down hard on my bottom lip.

What was done couldn’t be undone. Titus’s reaction was more the bond than it was the boy I’d been friends with for years. At the time I’d been furious, but centuries of watching over Anne gave me a chance to work through my emotions, especially seeing how complicated it was having the soulbond. Even then I’d known, yet I’d still agreed to accept the bond if Titus was willing to transition it – for Anne. It was important then we created it between someone who actually cared sbout her and had the strength to survive her power. Unfortunately that was a very short list.

I was the only other person who actually knew Titus entered the birthplace of magic, transforming Marren Vale, because without magic Anne would have faded away. Her soul was entwined with it, something I’d found easier to see the longer my death extended. Most of my time was spent close to her, either in the Lockwood house or at the Gardens, when she was alive, to keep me going during the short time she was dead. Like Titus I’d fallen in love with her. She was the Heart, so she drew people to her, and I was one of them, certain she didn’t remember me at all. Yet I stayed, in case something happened to make it necessary for me to step in.

Now that might be a far less likely scenario, although that depended on a number of factors. One thing Titus still hadn’t realised was Anne’s feelings for him. He’d spent lifetimes burying his, because it was what Thaddeus wanted, with Anne doing the same, albeit for a very different reason. She believed he couldn’t see her as anything other than his sister, hence the decision he made in their second life. Watching the soulmate wasn’t helping in any way when he slept, so I wandered back to the Lockwood house, the urge to see Anne always stronger than I was. Especially when I thought about what could have been.

She had left her room. I found her sitting on the bench they’d created in front of the spot they’d chosen to bury Thaddeus and Francesca. Her silence wasn’t unexpected, and neither were the tears. One of the hardest parts about being dead was my inability to comfort her, not that I thought she’d want me to, because it was due to Titus. Again. Breathing deeply, Anne wiped her face, only for the wetness to be replaced by more tears, her eyes not leaving the stone they’d placed for Thaddeus.

“He did this for you, didn’t he?” She shook her head. “You’re the reason…”

Clearly they’d had an interesting conversation when I hadn’t been able to watch them. Anne breathed deeply, in a way I’d seen before, and it was then I realised she’d created wards around the bench, to make it harder for Titus to feel her emotions. She didn’t want him there. It made it as likely she wouldn’t have wanted me there either, but in order to make a decision about what I did next I needed to understand what had changed between them. The soulbond was stronger, which was something I didn’t think could happen. Not after so many years of it being stable.

“You broke him, Thaddeus.” Anne raked a hand through her hair. “By doing whatever it was you did you broke us, and that… I don’t think I can forgive you.”

Long dead, Thaddeus, like all of that generation, was gone, their souls not strong enough to survive the transition between life and death. It was the same for the generation before. Ours was the first capable of accepting magic. After that either those who should have magic were drawn by Titus’s wards, or they were created, like every soul in the second generation. When Anne finally had children I was almost certain those souls would also be created, because of what she was.

“Titus can’t tell me anything more without Celeste there.” I raised an eyebrow. “Knowing that… I can’t ask him anything more than I already have, because I am not putting his soul at risk, even though I want to know. Only he did it anyway. He promised me he’d tell me after the last ritual, which makes me think…” Anne’s voice broke, more tears streaming down her cheeks. “Whatever happens he doesn’t believe I’m going to need him any more.” She closed her eyes. “Do you know how much I want to tell him?”

Right when her soulmate was a few minutes away. He most likely had a plan for the two of them to meet, one I doubted would work out the way he wanted to, because Anne was still in love with Titus. I couldn’t imagine anything changing that. Not even me, and that… I’d stay, just in case. There was still a chance he’d make a foolish choice, for Anne. The only thing I’d always been certain of when it came to Titus was how much he loved her. Even when he pushed me in the fire it was out of love, the soulbond making him believe it was the best way to protect her. She always came first.

“I can’t do this.” She rubbed her palm, the way she often did when she was worried. “Life after life he’s been my brother, Thaddeus, because it was what you wanted.” Titus wouldn’t have told her, but Anne knew him too well not to have worked it out. “Did you ever stop to think about what we might have wanted?”

No, he didn’t, at least not until it was too late. By then Titus had the soulbond. He was bound not to tell Anne anything about his feelings, her being the Heart, her soulmate, or the soulbond. I think there might also have been so other things covered, but I hadn’t been there for the conversation. Thaddeus didn’t See the damage he’d done until after, and then Titus wasn’t willing to accept the transition of the soulbond. He didn’t believe anyone else would be able to look after Anne the way he could. Even me. Doubts came later, as he watched Anne dance with Espen at her first coming of age gathering, which led him to my sister’s bed.

Phoebe was deeply in love with Titus. She had her suspicions when it came to the story he told her about what happened to me, even though it never changed, but that made her the first Riordan matriarch, so she didn’t push. Then one night she kissed him. I thought he’d make the sensible choice, only to find his emotions got the better of him. As far as he was concerned Anne saw him as her brother. He was too blinkered to see the way she looked at him. Maybe now he’d question it. Back then he’d tried to rid himself of his feelings for her by spending a night with Phoebe.

It hadn’t worked. Whatever he might have been hoping it was never going to. The morning after he realised that, but he still stayed. He didn’t leave Phoebe before she woke, because he was too good a person, even then. Being honest with her didn’t change the way she felt about him, especially when she realised she was pregnant. Dreaming of a family she told him, only to find he didn’t want the same future she did. She most likely noticed his feelings for Anne, could have used those to try to get what she wanted from him, rather than making the sensible choice – marrying someone else.

Wolfgang accepted Sybil as his own, and hoped to have a family with Phoebe, only for my sister to make that an impossibility. Marrying Wolfgang was a necessity. Yet part of her still hoped for the future she wanted with Titus. The loss of Wolfgang in the ritual was nothing more than a relief, because she didn’t love him, while Sybil… she hated Phoebe for not caring. She’d lost the man she thought of as her father, while her mother tried again to convince Titus they could have a life together. Hence the conversation she had with him, to make certain he wouldn’t marry Phoebe. After that they never spoke again, because Sybil hated him for what he’d done, as well as most of what became the Greater families for not questioning what happened at the ritual more closely.

Anne’s reaction made Titus’s story real. She was absolutely not prepared for what happened, and coming through the other side… it was never going to be easy, but it was another part of Thaddeus’s plan. Don’t tell Anne before the ritual. Maybe he knew if Anne was prepared it would cause too many problems when it came to the rest of Marren Vale. For Titus to be safe she had to react the way she did, although I think she’d have done whatever she could to protect him even if she knew before. The love she felt for him was too strong. He’d always meant the world to her, which explained why she was so upset with a man long dead.

“He always did everything he could to protect me.” Anne laughed. “There’s no doubting this is exactly the same, which…” She moved, as though she was about to stand, before remembering the wards. “I can’t forgive you for this. You chose me, when he needed you to always choose him.” Of course she knew. “Maybe you tried later, but by then the damage was already done, because he was always going to choose me. What you did… it wasn’t fair, to either of us.”

She wasn’t wrong. Yes, Anne was the Heart, and she did need someone to protect her, but how Thaddeus used Titus… the most complicated part was that Titus needed to be chosen. If Thaddeus hadn’t it would have damaged their relationship in a different way. When Thaddeus then asked Titus to transition the bond it broke something more between them. Choosing to be Anne’s protector meant so much to Titus for a number of different reasons, so there was no fair option. Free from the vow it would have been less complicated, because he could have explained more, with Thaddeus terrified learning she was the Heart would break Anne entirely.

Looking at the woman in front of me I knew Thaddeus was wrong. Then, maybe, it was a possibility. Now, though… no, she was more than capable. Even in her second life I’d have said she’d be fine. With Titus not able to explain it he’d caused fractures in their relationship he might have fixed with his new honesty… or maybe it was just her love for him. It might always have been enough for her to forgive him. Having seen the soulmate I didn’t think he was the final solution Thaddeus hoped for, and not only due to the soulbond being far stronger than Thaddeus believed it would be. Apparently he didn’t See Anne fall in love with Titus. Knowing Thaddeus even if he had he wouldn’t have accepted it.

“I love him, Thaddeus. Saying that now, when he’s my brother…” Anne closed her eyes. “We can’t be together, and I don’t know if I can convince him we should try next time, because there’s something more to all of this. Even though he can’t tell me I feel it, but I’m still going to bring it up. Hiding this from him every life has caused just as many fractures as the things he hasn’t been free to tell me.”

From behind me there were footsteps. The wards could only do so much, the bond connecting the two of them likely making it easier for Titus to feel her emotions, but I didn’t think he was close enough to have heard what she said. She must have heard them too, because she looked. With a hand she swiped away the tears, even though it was far too late for that, the footsteps speeding up.

“Go away.”

“Anne…”

“You don’t need to look after me all the time, Titus. I came out here at a time when you’re meant to be busy with other things for a reason.”

Her words weren’t enough. Titus sat beside her, pulling her into his arms, kissing the top of her head. Even I could see the worry. I didn’t know exactly what he’d been able to feel through the bond, but whatever it was had been enough for him to feel the need to be there. Anne seemed upset, and angry, but I hadn’t felt whatever it was he had, because I didn’t have the bond. She rested her head on his chest.

“I can’t help worrying.” He breathed in deeply. “What you feel…”

“Thaddeus chose my future for me. I have every right to be angry with him.”

Silence followed. Titus raked a hand through his hair, and I think I’d have reacted the same way. What did I say next? He was bound by a vow, that meant there was far more he couldn’t say, even though he clearly wanted to be open with Anne for the first time. For him to trust his soul to a Riordan… I understood his choices. After so long we were both tempted to do things that might end up being mistakes.

“Out of love.”

Less gently than I expected Anne pushed Titus. “I don’t care why he did it.” Titus didn’t react, still holding her, accepting her anger. “He doesn’t know me, and, whatever he might have believed thanks to what he could See, he clearly didn’t know her either, because if he did we wouldn’t be sitting here now, like this.”

“Maybe not, but there’s still so much you don’t know.”

“Because you can’t tell me.” Her fury swirled, stronger than before. “Thanks to him.” She pushed Titus again, this time with actual power behind it, but it still didn’t make him move. “I can’t ask, because if I do I might lose you, and I’ve already said I can’t, so that leaves us in a very complicated position, due to a man who chose our futures based on biases.”

“He made mistakes, because he didn’t have time. You were more important to him than anyone else.”

“You were his son.”

“I was a foundling.”

No reaction. “You were his son, Titus.”

Another long silence followed. “You knew?”

“Of course I knew, Titus. I have eyes.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“For you, fool.” Anne sighed. “You clearly still had issues, and I… honestly, I never wanted you to feel like I loved you any less. What happened… there was something, because you were distant for a time, until magic changed Marren Vale. That fixed your relationship with Thaddeus, but then it broke again, even though you were devastated when they died, so I… you seemed to want to be my brother, which I accepted in the hope it would help.”

“Silas introduced me to the Blackthornes. I had two biological brothers, and I was a twin. They kept him, believing he was the good twin, while I was the evil one.”

“Their loss.”

“Papa said the same thing, when he learnt I knew, but that… it didn’t happen until after magic. Silas…”

“Made you feel like you had to prove yourself as a Lockwood.” Titus blinked at her. “Silas never showed any interest in me, or our cousins, because he didn’t have a way to use us. You, however… there was a way he could create a wedge, your issues… even then I saw them. Our relationship never changed. No matter what you felt about our parents you loved me, and I loved you.” She touched her nose to his. “It made you an easy target. Both Silas and Thaddeus used you, Titus.”

“Anne…”

“I think, annoyingly, you wanted to be used by Thaddeus, because it was another way you could prove yourself to him, and show your love for me.”

“Sometimes I wish you were blind.”

Laughing, she rested her head on his chest again, the anger fading, at least for a moment. “What you need to remember is I love you too.” I looked at her, trying to discern if she was going to fully open up to him then. “Always have. Even at our worst points I loved you, Titus, and that’s never going to change.”

“You have no way of knowing that.”

“Oh, I do, because you shredded Elias’s soul.” Titus flinched. “If that didn’t completely destroy the love I felt for you then nothing can, although we both know there’s more to that you can’t share with me, so it’s not entirely fair. At the time I thought you did. Had we not talked about it I might still assume that now, but you did talk to me, so I can tell you’re hiding something. Exactly what I’m not going to ask, as I know that’s going to be entwined with everything you can’t share with me without Celeste here.”

Her words made me laugh, and both looked in my direction for a second, as though they were able to hear me. I hoped they couldn’t, but it wasn’t impossible, considering their strength, with Anne looking away first. Titus’s eyes almost seemed to meet with mine, until he turned his attention back to Anne. Even though I didn’t truly breathe I let go of the breath I was holding, more out of memory than anything.

“What comes next, Anne, because you’ve already said you don’t want to ask Celeste.”

“No, because I don’t want you to put your soul at risk for me any more than you already have.” Anne drew a finger over exactly where one of the scars was. “This was always dangerous. You could have broken yourself a long time ago, for me.”